Your 3-Step Plan to Overcoming Limiting Beliefs

Now that you have identified your personal limiting beliefs (April 15th post), it's time to change them.  Think of your limiting beliefs as your subconscious blueprint and blueprints can be changed so they reflect what you really want! The first step is to understand what a limiting belief is and that it may not be true. Just say to yourself, "it's possible that I believe some things about myself and the world around me that are not true." Great!  You have successfully opened the door to let your new belief in. The second step is really important: Replace the old belief with a positive new one. If you want to create permanent behaviour change, you can't just get rid of the old mental pattern, you have to replace it with a completely new one that will take its place. You want to create a new path, create new tracks, otherwise the old one can come back. The final step is repetition and reinforcement through affirmation. The most powerful affirmations are worded to be immediate and personal.  Adding a phrase like 'quickly and easily' to the beginning or end of each affirmation helps to lift the pressure of having to 'make things happen.' My personal favourite affirmations are: Every Day in Every Way, I'm Getting Better and Better My monthly income exceeds my monthly expenses quickly and easily I repeat these 3 times every morning before I get out of bed to enjoy my day. The primary way to get a new pattern into the unconscious part of your mind is through reinforcement and repetition.  Positive affirmations work by reprogramming your thinking and beliefs.  The way to get effective results is with constant repetition.   Affirmations train your subconscious to believe that what you want is possible, attainable, and already happening. Words are your most powerful tool - they can bring pain or happiness, forgiveness or anger/hatred.  You generate your own emotions through your choice of words.  Make sure that the words you tell yourself are helping you follow your dreams and your heart. My Success Recommendation:  write down your goals with corresponding success beliefs in the form of affirmations  and just keep repeating them. . Choose your new belief and then plant the seed through positive affirmations.

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Are Your Limiting Beliefs Holding You Back?

You can tell what you believe by what you get.

-Alan Cohen

Limiting beliefs zap your energy and keep you stuck by telling you over and over again that you can't achieve your goals or that you're not worthy of acceptance and success.

The Top Ten Limiting Beliefs are:

1. I'm too selfish/loud/shy
2. I'm a bad.... (eg I'm a bad parent/friend/son)
3. I will never be successful
4. There is never enough money (or money doesn't grow on trees)
5. It's too late for me to.... (change my career etc)
6. I will never....(be successful, find love, travel etc)
7. I always disappoint people
8. I am not pretty/slim/clever enough
9. I'm not good enough/I don't deserve...(happiness success, wealth, love)
10. "I can't do it!"

Many limiting beliefs feel so normal that you don't even notice them. They are perceived as facts, rather than as mere beliefs that can be questioned and then changed. A 'belief' doesn't mean it's a fact - it's actually only your perception of the truth and this can be changed, with some work.

If you experience negative thoughts or feelings on a regular basis, or there are patterns in your life that you can't seem to figure out (bad relationships or continuous problems with money for example) it is VERY likely that you have a hidden limiting belief.

The life that you create is largely determined by your beliefs. Limiting beliefs hold you back from being the best that you can be and from being open to unlimited possibilities. Breaking Free of your Limiting Beliefs is the first step to personal transformation.

Look at the Top Ten Limiting Beliefs list. Do any of them sound familiar? If they do, jot them down and think about the ways they are negatively impacting your life - money, relationships, career, goals.

Watch for my next blog post where I'll give you the essential 3-step plan for Breaking Free of your Limiting Beliefs.

Forgiveness Objections

actice Forgiveness

Forgiving others is difficult, especially if they are the cause of a great hurt in your life. Yet not forgiving costs you so much. Living with anger, blame, resentment and other negative feelings robs you of joy and peace of mind.

Forgiveness is defined as "ceasing to resent"

Forgiveness Objections:

1. "The other person doesn't deserve forgiveness." Perhaps not. But forgiveness is not for him, it's for you. Forgiveness is so that you don't have to continue to be burdened by angry feelings, preoccupied with obsessive thoughts about revenge, etc.

2. "I need to get even first." What would getting even do for you? Often people say that they feel personally diminished by the harm that was done to them, and that getting even would help them feel powerful and good about themselves again. I want you to feel powerful and good about yourself, and I'd like to offer you other ways of doing this. When you forgive, you to learn how to cope effectively with possible repetitions of this kind of behaviour, so that you feel safe and strong in knowing what you can do to prevent a recurrence.

3. "Anger makes me feel powerful; I don't want to give it up." Yes, there is a certain feeling of power in feeling angry, in being courageous and willing to stand up for yourself and your values. But you remain preoccupied with thoughts of the person who harmed you. Forgiveness will offer you more choices, so that you can be the one in control of your feelings and behaviour, and stand up for yourself even more powerfully.

4. "I refuse to forgive and forget." I agree with you completely. I don't want you to forgive and forget. If you forgot, then you'd be completely vulnerable to a repetition of the harm that was done to you. I want you to forgive and remember. I want you to remember so that you are protected against possible recurrences, and to remember in a way that provides you with feelings of strength, choice, and resourcefulness, instead of being simply provoked into anger.

One ex-prisoner of war asked another, "Have you forgiven your captors yet?" The second one replied, "NO, NEVER!" And the other one turned and said, "Then it seems like they still have you in prison, don't they?"

Remember, forgiveness is a gift to yourself.

"Hanging onto resentment is letting someone you despise live rent-free in your head" -Anne Landers



Do any of these "objections" sound familiar? Realize that when you are holding onto resentment, anger, and hate, you have less room to let in kindness, happiness, and love. 

Feeling Stuck?

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Rekindle Joy and Playfulness

Spring is here!  Spring  is a magical time of renewal and rejuvenation.  It's the perfect time year to rekindle your sense of joy and playfulness. Being playful reduces stress and stimulates creativity.

• Add Play Days to your calendar.
• Give yourself permission to play and have fun.
• Take "Recess" instead of lunch.
• Live everyday with curiosity.
• Explore more.
• Do something new simply because it looks interesting.
• Share positive and pleasant news with others.
• Savour pleasant experiences and extend positive emotions.
• Let loose and be silly.
• Laugh Lots! You will positively change your outlook, mood and your life!
• Make Friends with and Embrace Change and Flexibility.

Have Fun..... Let Loose........ Celebrate and Embrace your Life!

"Life is playfulness...We need to play so that we can rediscover the magic all around us." Flora Colao

Coaching Works!