Victim or Victor? Which One Will You Choose?

Choose Wisely.  There is a tremendous amount of Power in One Word.

When my toxic-violent relationship ended, I was thrust into the "victim" services mentality which is, unfortunately, the prevalent and preferred way of handling survivors of abuse.

Being labelled a Victim almost killed me.  Being a Victim almost robbed me of the amazing life I have created for myself.  I would have loved to have known the power of being a Victor.  My journey would have been shorter and less self-destructive.

You are only a victim while it's happening.  Victimness is fleeting. Let yourself be a victim for too long and you will rob yourself of a big, bold, ballsy life.

Stepping away from someone who is abusing you is a courageous and "victorious" act. You are now a Victor. You are free of your tormentor, you a strong, worthwhile woman who is capable of achieving anything you set your mind to.

After all, you just walked away from your abuser.  Nothing shouts Victor louder than that!

Claiming your Victor status, immediately puts the incident in the past where it belongs and keeps you moving forward.


Mindset Shifting From Victim to Victor

Victim - I can't believe that happened to me.  I wish I knew why then I might be able to fix what's wrong with me

Victor - It happened, it felt like shit and I left.  I am capable of putting me first and I'm worth it

Victim - I wonder what other people think about me. They probably see me as weak and going nowhere in my life

Victor - I had the courage to leave my abuser.  That makes me a self-confident and amazing woman. I think I'm fabulous and only what I think about myself matters.

Victim - I thought my relationship was forever.  I found the love of my life and now I'm lonely, sad and angry.  Why?  I will never find love.

Victor - I will look forward and heal my relationship with myself.  I will love me and all my imperfections.  Then, and only then, I will be able to invite a partner to share my life if I choose to!


The healing power of shifting your mindset to Victor is extremely powerful and will push you and keep you moving forward.

When you are a Victor, your life is full of limitless opportunities and possibilities

Be Better     Be Confident      Be Bold     Be Ballsy     Be Happy

You Did It!        You Are a Victor!

Move Forward Toward Your Dreams and Keep Going Until You Reach Them

I help women discover the big, bold, ballsy lives they deserve!  Ready to reclaim your future and start thriving?  Book your Free Discovery Session Now!

Tuesday Truth or Dare: It's a Doing Thing

Truth:  How many times have you said "I wish ......"?   I wish I could travel more.  I wish I had a better job, more money, self-confidence, my own business, and so on.

Some wishes are about feelings or fears.  I wish I was braver, empathetic, happier, less anxious.

Wishing doesn't make it so.  Wishing won't make it happen.  If you want to travel, then you have to change your wishing to doing.

Turn your wish into a goal and then DO the steps to achieve it!

Dare:  A wish is a dream without any goals.  It will remain a wish until you put in steps to do it.  

Think of one thing that you really wish to do - travel, move, be an entrepreneur, singer, actor, writer, artist, go back to school.  Write it down.  Set the date you will DO IT!

Look at the date and start writing your steps.  Your first step will be small and create the foundation.  Move forward. Set a goal. Make a plan, then move forward. The steps may be small, but move forward. That's the only way the dream becomes a reality. Move forward. 

Each step will build until your wish becomes your do.

When you finish one of your steps, celebrate!  You are one step closer to achieving your dream.  You are gonna DO IT!

7 day Challenge: 

Wake Up and Smile!

Write down one wish: I wish I could travel to Paris

Set the date you will be in Paris

Write out the steps to get you there

Celebrate each successful step you take

Have Fun In Paris 

 

Celebrate your ballsy spirit!

Make it a Great |Day!

Want to Kick Your Life Beyond Surviving into Thriving?

You Can't Thrive Until You Define What it Means to You! 

You Need to Define What Your Life Would Look Like When You're Thriving.  You Need to Make it Juicy!

Define It:  What Does Thrive Mean to You?

Happiness, success, fulfillment, and thriving are all emotional states that we strive to achieve.  But we make one huge critical error = we never define exactly what it means.

I hear clients say - I want to be happy!  Well, what does that mean to you?  I want to be successful!  What does that mean to you? And so on.

I want you to define what it means to be thriving.

The definition is personal.  It belongs to you and you only.  Once you have your personal Thrive meaning, no one can take it away from you.

You will become laser focused on making it happen.

Thrive = to progress toward or realize a goal despite or because of circumstances 

Get specific and write down what "thriving" will look like in these areas of your life:

• Career, Work and Business
• Health and Well-being
• Friendships
• Relationships 
• Spiritual
• Community
• Finances

Feel free to add or delete areas + make them personally reflect your current life situation.

Include details, lots of luscious details in your definition:

What will you feel?  What will you see?  hear? Smell?  Taste? 

Can you see the difference between these two definitions?

1. When I'm thriving I will own a 4,000 square foot house = boring!

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2. When I'm thriving I will own a home that has a beautiful open foyer with a large crystal chandelier shining brightly from the centre of the ceiling.  As I walk to the kitchen, I will smell yummy chocolate chip cookies baking and hear the faint sound of Queen on the radio.  I love Queen.  My new home will be filled with love, vibrant happy colours and the sound of music and laughter.

Definition #2 = Amazing!!  Now you want to achieve owning that house.  It speaks to you and you only.  It represents thriving to you. It's your home, your vision and no one can take something so vibrant away from you.

Your Kick Ass I'm Going to Thrive Challenge:

1. Get your pen and paper and start writing your "thrive" definition for any and all areas of your life that you choose.
2. Make your definition personal.  Thriving is all about your individual happiness and how you choose to define it.
3. Make it so vibrant that when you read your definition, you're smiling the whole time!  Yup, you're smiling because it's happening.
4. Focus on the amazing image and set out to make it happen.  You can do it.  Step into the magic zone and out of your comfort zone. 

Choose to Thrive: Live Life Fearlessly

DISCOVERY SESSION  Contact me for a no-obligation session where we will get to know each other – click Book Now for my online scheduling calendar to find a suitable day and time.  The 30 minute Discovery Session is Free.  Invest the time to book the call - you’re worth it!