Tuesday Truth or Dare: It's a Patience Thing

Truth: We have officially arrived.  December is beginning and that means a steady race to Christmas.  We have all done it.  Sadly, we have also grumbled and complained endlessly about long lines, lack of service, empty shelves and the crowds.

Grumble and complain all you can but it won't make one bit of difference.  You're going to be in crowded, hot stores looking for a needle in a haystack.  That's the truth.  

Change your experience by changing your attitude!

All that grumbling and complaining won't change a thing!

Dare: When we start any task with a "this is going to suck" attitude, it will.  Change your attitude to this is going to be a fun adventure and you will immediately find yourself in a better mood!

Then you can:  Smile at the cashier.  Smile at the person behind you or in front of you in the line. When you're waiting your turn, hum or sing to the music that's playing.  Tap your toes to the beat. Pay attention to a small child paying for his gifts and if he's short, pitch in the extra.  Stop and sit and just look at the decorations and enjoy the music and the sounds.  Oh yeah, pay it forward at least once while you're out and about shopping.

Remember to be grateful!  

Choose to Make it a Great Shopping Adventure.

7 day Challenge: 

Wake Up and Smile!

Close Your Eyes & Remember that

Giving is Joyful
Decide that you will enjoy your shopping day.

Take time to sit and enjoy the music, sights, and sounds.

Pay it forward at least once.

Focus on the 10 people who were kind to you.

Say Merry Christmas to the staff & 

random people on your journey.

Practice Patience & Joy will Follow!

Make it a Great Day!

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Counting My Blessings & Creating Memories

About 5 years ago, I decided that Christmas was way too commercial and that I really didn't want to add to the massive pile of stuff under the tree.  I did some serious soul searching and reminiscing about Christmases past.  I wanted to find the feeling that was missing. What made Christmas special?

It wasn't the gifts.  It was the memories.  The laughter.  The tears.  The arguing. The singing.  The crafting and cooking.  The hugs and the smiles.

I can barely remember any gifts I've received and when I asked my grown children they were hard pressed to remember as well.

But what we did remember was moments.  Some good and some bad.  But definitely moments.

My decision was final.  I would create memories and fully enjoy moments with my family, friends, and people.

On November 14th, my youngest daughter celebrated her 30th birthday and to honour my commitment to memories, we all went to Cuba for a fun-filled week of sun, sand, and surf. Oh, a few cervesas and mojitos as well!

Me and my beautiful daughter, Ashley Maria

For all that she and I went through at the hands of my abuser, this represents how precious happy memories and blissful moments are.  She will forever remember our time in Cuba and for that I am truly blessed.

As the holiday approaches, think about small changes you can make that will let you gift memories that your loved ones will truly cherish.

6-Benefits of Memories over Material Gifts:

1. Memories can be created for any budget.  Free to no limits.  It's your choice but in the end, they are all priceless.
2. Memories won't break or get stuffed in closet or be re-gifted.
3. Memories will be spoken about for years to come.
4. They are truly personal and representative of a wonderful moment in a special relationship.
5. They are unique and one-of-a-kind.  And I love that!
6. They are Your Blessings to be Counted!

Take one material gift off your list and replace it with a special moment you can create.  You will have created a lifetime of memories.  It's a change worth making.  It's healing and empowering and inspirational.  You will begin to realize how blessed you really are.

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I help women discover the big, bold, blissful lives they deserve! Ready to reclaim your future and start thriving? Book your free Discovery Session now!

3 Bold Steps to Kick-Start Healing After a Toxic Relationship

When I first left my abuser, I was obsessed and I mean obsessed, with finding the reason why he did what he did.  I had rationalized that if I discovered what was wrong with him, I could move on and get started on living my life again.

I spent a great deal of my life analyzing his behaviour and developing varied and compelling diagnoses.  With every diagnosis, I had lists of supporting evidence.  

I had all sorts of them:  Narcissist, Middle Child Syndrome, Toxic Parents, Anger Management, Alcohol Abuse, and so on 

But every diagnosis, only offered fleeting happiness.  I would celebrate what I thought was the perfect reason only to realize that it did not heal my hurt or my heart or my life.  I continued to feel hurt and lonely and lost.

It wasn't until I realized that not one of the "labels" that I was giving him was going to change a damn thing.  It really didn't matter if he was a narcissist or had nasty parents.  The bottom line: He was a fu*king class A dick. Period.

He hurt me because he could and because he wanted to.  

No fancy labels needed!

Once I stopped analyzing him, I was able to focus on me, my life, and my healing.  That moment was the beginning of my Healing Journey.  It was the moment I stepped into being a Victor!

I focused on these 3 Bold Steps:

Step One: Acceptance

This is a big, healing step.  It's time to own that it happened.  It just happened.  It was awful and painful and hurtful but it represents something that happened in your life that will ultimately shape you and create a better version of you.

Hot Tip: Give it a Name.  I call my period of abuse "The Incident".  When I speak with people, I can simply state when The Incident happened or after The Incident.  A generic name immediately diminishes any power your past has over your present and future.

Step Two: Looking Inward

Now you have time to take a close look at what you want and need in your life.  Take the time to really dive deep into your feelings and values:  What makes you smile.  What makes you feel happy. Where do you see yourself in one-year.  Two-years.  What do need in a partner.  What are your values - honesty, freedom, spirituality, humour, intelligence and so on.

Hot Tip: Dive Deep & Take Your Time.  What you value in life and what is acceptable and not acceptable is so very important to your future peace and happiness.  Take all the time you need to dive deep into your needs and wants.  Review.  Revise.  Release the ones that don't feel good.  

Step Three: Putting Me First

You are the most valuable player in your life.  Your well being, needs, wants, desires and passions come first.  Push back - but what about so-and-so, or my kids, or my job?  Yes, they are important but if you do not put yourself first, your mental, physical, and emotional health will quickly deteriorate and you will be of little value to anyone including yourself!

Hot Tip:  Do One Thing Every Day That is Just for You.  One thing is all that is needed.  It can be for five minutes, one-hour, or an entire evening.  That's your choice each day.  Have a quiet tea or coffee without interruption.  Read a chapter.  Chat on the phone with a happy friend.  Be creative.  Take a walk.  Go skating.  

One Simple Pleasure per Day will Improve Your Mood, Your Health, and Your Relationships!

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Download the 5-Steps to Transform from Victim to Victor Workbook:  

Get It Now!

I help women discover the big, bold, blissful lives they deserve! Ready to reclaim your future and start thriving? Book your free Discovery Session now!