Refocusing after setbacks

How many times have you started a diet, a new way of thinking, or tried something new and then a setback occurs and you just go back to the way you were?

Don’t worry, you are not the only one!

Setbacks and difficulties occur all of the time – they are a natural activity of life.

There are two ways of facing difficulties.

You either change or alter the difficulty or you can alter yourself to be able to deal with it.

Deal with difficulties correctly and it will enhance your confidence, deal with them incorrectly and they can do some serious damage to your self worth.

Your response to issues and difficulties

When you are faced with any setback your ability to deal with it can be turned around into a position of strength by asking yourself positive empowering questions.

There is an unwritten rule that says:

Ask your mind a stupid question and you will get a stupid answer!

So, if after setback you ask yourself something like

“Why does this always happen to me, I never have any luck?”

Your mind will probably come out with:

“Because you are useless and good things do not happen to you!”

Sound familiar?

Instead, if you ask yourself a positive empowering question like:

“What did I learn from this setback for next time?”

Your mind will kick into solution mode and help.

Here are some rules and things to think about when setbacks do occur:

·         Acknowledge that it has happened. Don’t hide from it. These things happen. So what?

·         What positive empowering questions can you ask yourself?

What is good about this situation?

How can I make the most of this situation?

What can I learn from it?

What are the facts about this problem?

How can we make it a successful outcome?

·         Acknowledge that setbacks occur to everyone and you are not being singled out.

·         View them as a challenge to overcome rather than an issue or problem

Think about the negative dis-empowering thoughts that you think on a regular basis after a setback.

What new empowering questions could you ask yourself to give some better answers!

Write these down now and make them a habit.


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Make it a Great Day

It's morning and you wake to the smell of fresh coffee, birds singing, and think to yourself this is going to be a great day! I'm going to do this and accomplish that and enjoy my day. All smiles you start your amazing day.

It is easy to wake up and look forward to your day and start off on a positive note and then all of a sudden something happens and your positive attitude starts to show negative edges....the first sign that you are about to sabotage your Great Day.

You start thinking "It's Going to be One of Those Days". That statement constructs your own self-fulfilling prophecy and you will find tons of evidence to support your newly constructed fable of a bad day. Someone will hold you up in traffic - see, I told you it's one of those days! Or, your boss will call you and want you to come to her office - yikes! - one more layer to your one of those days fable. Can you see the pattern of supposed negative events that you are setting in motion to sabotage your day?

Other examples of negative thoughts becoming your personal truth and affecting your happiness - no one likes me - I'm sure he/she is having an affair. If you believe either of these statements to be absolutely true, you will stack up all sorts of pre-conceived, mythological evidence to prove it!

The Solution is Within You

Next time you find yourself stacking up all the evidence to support your It's Going to be One of Those Days fable, stop, and see the positive alternative:

Perfect! While I'm stuck in traffic I can listen to great music!

{Smile} She wants to compliment me on the report I finished last week.

What new challenges will be given to me today?

Every bullet point of proof, every negative nuance that you add to your personal fable erodes your happiness, peace of mind, relationships and negatively impacts your Great Day!

It's your Great Day and yours alone. Keep it by being positive and looking at what is possible as opposed to what is not.

You are in charge of your mind, therefore your results!