Choose Gratitude

A grateful heart is a happy heart.  It's so easy to take things for granted:  the information your coworker sent you the fact that your car is running, and even the food you're eating for dinner.  The fact is, most of us have gotten into the habit of ignoring all of the good things in our lives.  Instead, we focus our mental and emotional energy on being upset about what's wrong and what we don't have.  Yes, cultivating an "attitude of gratitude" might sound cliche, but it is important to your overall health and well-being.  Studies have actually shown that thankful individuals are 25% healthier than their counterparts!  To start tapping into the power of gratitude, simply say "thanks" to the people who help you or smile at you or offer a compliment throughout your day.

Action Step - Find a wide-mouth jar with a lid and each day write down a single "I'm grateful for _____" statement.  Fold it and place in the jar.  At the end of the week, month or year, empty your jar and read all the things you have to be grateful for.  You will be pleasantly surprised!

It's Okay to Say "NO"

It's not always easy to say "no" to requests, especially when doing so leaves you feeling guilty or feeling you should have said "yes". You may also believe that there are some family situations where "no" is not an option.

Yet to balance self-care it's essential to give yourself the freedom to say "no" to requests that do not serve you. Family responsibilities have their place but too often they become misplaced – running your life at the expense of your own health and well-being.

Saying "no" takes courage and practice.

A simple way to give you time to consider a request is by having a response ready when a request is made, such as:

"I need to check my other commitments."

"I need to check to see if it interferes with plans (my spouse and) I have made."

Alternatively, if you are willing to participate to some degree, counter-offer:

"No, I can’t commit to _______ but I can do __________ (counter-offer)."

If you are clear that the answer is "no" say so:
"Thank you for thinking of me, but no, not at this time."

  Self-Care Exercise

Create a variety of ready responses to requests that have happened in the past or you’re sure will happen soon.  Practice, Practice, Practice!!!  When a request is made, choose a “ready response” – and feel confident when delivering your response.

When you reflect on a request, ask yourself:

• Will this request serve me?
• Will it contribute to me and my life?
• Is my inner-wisdom or gut feeling a "yes" or a "no"?

If you answer "no" to the above questions, honour your inner guidance and say "no" to the request. If you wish, make a suggestion on who might be available to do the job instead.

You will know you are Living Authentically when you can say "no" 

without feeling guilty!

You can do it - Say No

Cellphones, Email and Your Not-So-Well-being

In our age of technology, there are very few places where you can go and not see someone on the phone either texting or talking, studying their tablet, or checking their e-mail.  It is overwhelming for me to watch 90% of the population completely controlled by their electronic devices. 

It got me reminiscing about the "olden days".  I remembered how exciting it was when the phone rang and   you picked it up in anticipation of who was on the other end.  You were going to engage in a real conversation with a real person!  The phone could bring great news and feelings - a new job, a date, your mom's voice, a good friend.  It was there when you needed someone special to talk to and all you had to do was dial a seven-digit number and voila! a conversation was in the making.  There was no caller ID or voicemail, you either picked it up or you didn't.  Of course, when you didn't you wondered if you had missed the call of a lifetime!

The phone was magical and it allowed families and friends to communicate across the miles making separation from each other easier.   It brought news, good and bad and could be banged down when you were angry or disappointed.  The banging down of a phone receiver was cathartic.

The amazing thing about the phones of the good old days was You Would Leave Them at Home When You Left.  You went out to meet people and enjoyed face-to-face interactions.  You had a good time and there was no beeping, ringing and vibrating interruptions.  When you wanted to check in with your parents, spouse or babysitter, you walked to a payphone and dialed.  You spoke with the interested person, hung-up and went back to your socializing. 

When you went for a hike, or to the cottage, or on a vacation, you left your phone at home and you enjoyed new sights, relaxing in a natural setting, joining in with groups to discover new adventures.  You were free from attachment and free to explore without interruptions.  The best kind of exploration.  Healthy, encouraging, inspirational, natural, social behaviour is becoming a lost art and it is discouraging.

I have been in meetings and social environments where live conversation is interrupted by beeps and vibrations.  Inevitably, someone says, "Oh, Sorry, I HAVE to take this!".  Really?!?  Have to?  or Want to?  What would happen if you didn't answer your cellphone immediately?  What would happen if you left it at home for an enjoyable evening out?  What would happen if you gave 100% of your attention to the live conversation that is taking place?  

What is so life-altering that it is critically important that you relentlessly engage with an inanimate object - your phone?

Shut it down for a day.  Get out and talk face-to-face, take a walk in the woods free from your phone, play with your children and focus on them only.  

When you do this once, you will do it over and over because you will discover that the caller can leave a message, the text can be answered later, and the email, well, it could actually be left for a few days.  

You will discover a new style of freedom and happiness and it is worth leaving the phone at home!