My Journey to Wellness

A few years ago I thought I had met the man of my dreams.  We would be married forever, grow old together and have a happy home with a white picket fence.  He treated me like a princess and bought me a house that I loved in a small town away from the big city.  When we moved into the house, he asked me to marry him and I said yes.  All was well until right after our wedding reception during our drive to our honeymoon destination.  That's when he said - "Now that you're my wife, you'll do as you're told, when you're told".  I thought he was joking but he wasn't and my life took a dramatic turn into physical and emotional abuse.


It lasted a few months and then I left.  I was shattered and through our court system was ordered to take mandatory "Victims of Violence" counselling sessions.  Okay.  I quickly learned that anything I did - good or bad - would be excused because I was after all a 'victim of violence'.  I lived my life knowing that everyone would have to understand my transgressions because I was a victim and that made it okay.


Fast forward to meeting someone who would have a profound and positive effect on my life.  She was a family friend, someone I hadn't seen in a long time.  A chance encounter in downtown Toronto led to a dinner together.  We chatted for a while and then I started to tell her my sad victim story - I wanted her to buy into my victim mentality and grant me the freedom to do what I wanted based on it.  


She wouldn't co-operate!  She kept saying:  "That's in the past"  "You survived and you're a survivor" "It's time to move forward"  "You are worthy of a great life"  "Have you forgiven him?" That question in particular shocked me and I thought she hadn't heard a word I said.  I kept trying to get her sympathy, get her to see it my way and over and over again she would keep asking me "What are you going to do with your life?"  I became infuriated and thought this old family friendship is over and decided I would not see her again.

But a surprising thing happened when I got home, I kept hearing her questions and the words she spoke and the smile on her face and I started to think yes, I am a survivor and yes, I do deserve to be happy and I do have lots to offer the world.  And I realized I wanted to speak with her again and I eagerly set up another dinner.  This time I was happy to ask questions and listen to the way she responded.  Each response encouraged me to develop a strong sense of self-worth and excitement about the rest of my life, what I would see, what I would do and how I would have a positive impact.


My friend was an NLP Life Coach and those meetings changed my life, my attitude, and set me on the journey of learning and becoming a life coach so that I would be able to help individuals find their way in life, let go of the past, live in the moment and create an exciting future.


In addition to my training, I bring my life's experience to my coaching practice and I love it when my client's have their epiphany just like me.  It's the big smile that gives it away every time!


Oh, I did forgive him and with that came freedom from the past.  Forgiveness is essential and I will talk about how the Simple Act of Forgiveness will positively impact your life and set you firmly in the present in my next post.


Make it a Great Day


Susan